


Reach

by thedragonbot



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Blood, Canon Andromeda happens though, Depression, Eventual Smut, Flashbacks, Gore, Heavy Angst, M/M, Macen Lives AU, Post-Canon, Violence, don't read this if you haven't played andromeda, fluff towards the end, mystery friend, relationships, take it with a grain of salt, their backstory is heavily headcanoned, you'll only have pain and regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-04-27 14:41:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14427651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedragonbot/pseuds/thedragonbot
Summary: Avitus Rix is hurting, even after the Archon is dead.  Macen meant a lot to him, and now he's gone. Avitus just doesn't know what to do anymore. Then one day, on a break on the Nexus, he gets a transmission from a mysterious source that rekindles his hopes. If Macen is alive, then Avitus will go through hell and back to get him.The only problem is the insurmountable odds facing him.Will Avitus be able to find Macen? Is Macen even alive? Do the Remnant have something to do with this?Or is Avitus doomed to a galaxy without Macen?





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since Andromeda, I've been itching to write something about Avitus and Macen. I feel robbed by Bioware.  
> This series will deal with a perspective around Avitus mostly, with flashbacks occuring every other chapter or two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Avitus disposes of a dangerous criminal and discovers a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 10/21/18, mainly for stylistic changes and a better flow, which would connect with the story in later chapters.

Sharp, searing pain lanced through his shoulder, and Avitus grunted out in pain. He quickly ducked behind his slowly crumbling cover and cursed as several bullets hit above him. He brought his hand to his shoulder, applying pressure for a moment, his hand returning blue. Avitus swore again and gripped his weapon, a Carnifex pistol, and waited until the firing ceased before he quickly peeked and shot three times. Three bodies hit the floor, which only left Avitus’ target standing. Well, more crouching behind cover. Avitus quickly scanned the area and left his cover, rolling silently behind a wall, swearing silently in the process, and inspected his shoulder, now glistening with blue.

 _He fucking got me…_ Avitus clenched his jaw and applied medigel there, taking a breath as the familiar sting overtook him for a moment. Then, cool relief. Avitus exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. _This fucking job is more trouble than it’s worth…_ He didn’t really mean that. Avitus was just annoyed with the situation at hand. He tried to think of a positive thing about the mission. It was hard.

When Nihlus had passed an assignment his way, involving a singular kidnapping, Avitus thought he would be done in a week. Three months later, and there had been one problem after another. First, he found out that several other kidnappings were related to each other. Which is never good. Two weeks later, Nihlus found intel that marked a whole syndicate involved with the mass kidnappings, which included drug, trafficking, and illegal arms rings. Things had quickly deteriorated, but Nihlus helped Avitus out, and the two made quick work of a good portion of the syndicate. Or so they thought.

Two weeks ago, Avitus got a message that essentially mocked him for letting this syndicate continue to exist. That’s when Avitus found another slew of kidnappings, and that the syndicate had sprung right back up because one of the leaders was left. Unfortunately, things weren’t going to be too easy. The next morning, as Nihlus was preparing to leave, a drunk krogan that was looking for a fight slammed into his ship. Avitus was more than pissed, and he quickly subdued the krogan. He showed up on Illium almost four days later than he should have, only to find out that the slaver had already made off with almost thirty more potential slaves, and Avitus had walked right into a trap at his former head of operations. After a quick firefight, Avitus found the slaver’s skycar and quickly followed. A chase throughout the day ensued, and as Avitus approached his ship, he was fined by a junior officer for parking in a VIP spot, reserved for high-ranking officials, politicians and businesspeople - and also Spectres. After a few hours of apologies, negotiations, and Avitus not strangling someone, he was finally off, with the slaver getting a big head start.

A day later, Avitus picked up three hostages that had been killed, deemed ‘unfit’ for service. Avitus knew that they were the fighters. The ones that resisted.  If only they had waited just a few more hours. If only that damn krogan hadn’t been drunk…

This mission was not going well for Avitus.

He had decided to freeze the bodies to prevent further decomposition, so he could give them a proper burial when he finished. He would give the ones they loved closure - if they had anyone. Avitus forced the thought of the three dead in the back of his ship out of his mind, so he could focus on avenging them, at the least. Thankfully, he was able to quickly pick up on the slaver’s trail. After all, spacing bodies wasn’t a good way to cover your tracks.

Several more hours later, Avitus had landed at an old krogan base from the Rebellions, with centuries of abandonment showing in the architecture. He had been expecting heavy resistance. He got it, alright. The slaver had spotted him the hour before, and through the comms that Avitus had hacked himself into, he could hear the frantic orders issued. After an intense firefight that Avitus powered through, and a whole building of freeing slaves and recovering the dead, here he was - the level right before the the deteriorating landing pad, where the vorcha was obviously waiting for his buyer. He had surrounded himself with a personal guard of sorts, that Avitus had quickly mowed through, despite there being almost twenty of them. That whole fight, and he hadn’t even suffered an injury. He finally considered his bad luck gone - until the vorcha got a lucky shot. Avitus grimaced again, the medigel burning on his wound as it healed.There hadn’t been any gunfire for a while from the sole survivor - the vorcha slaver. That could be a problem. He took another breath, focusing on his hearing, his eyes still shut. If he couldn’t see the vorcha, he would just have to hear him.

 _The whimper of a hostage, probably salarian, pierced the silence. A piece of rubble hit the ground. A gentle breeze blew through the abandoned compound. A click, a gun reloading slowly. A sharp exhale of breath - that was the slaver._ Avitus trained his ears, his head cocking slightly. _He was taking careful steps, but not careful enough. He was to his right, surveying the area. The vorcha knew who he was dealing with, and he sniffed the air. His breath was gravelly and ragged. A misplaced step broke a loose rock off._ Avitus opened his eyes. He heard the rock clang off of a metal piece by the vorcha. Fifteen meters to his right. He raised his weapon, and counted to three. Three seconds, and the vorcha would be in position.

 _One…_ “Where are you, you bastard?” The vorcha hissed, his voice echoing slightly. Spirits, his voice was disgusting. Avitus knew the vorcha was trying to play a game, as the vorcha had already smelled Avitus’ blood. He wasn’t going to play the game; he had already won it.

 _Two…_ Avitus desperately hoped that none of the hostages were killed. All of them were in able shape - prime condition to slavers. Those bastards. Avitus took a breath, breathing in his nostrils. He could still smell them… at least three. Good. At least some were still alive.

_Three._

He looked to his right and fired. The vorcha chose the wrong time to peek out, as he was greeted with a bullet to his head. Blood spattered onto the wall behind him as the vorcha was knocked downwards by the bullet. Avitus breathed out and, wincing, walked over to the body bleeding out, still twitching.

“Spirits, that’s disgusting…” Avitus murmured, and he fired again into the slowly pulsating mass of the vorcha’s head. More blood splattered out, and the body twitched again. The blood pooled up fast and reached Avitus’ feet. He didn’t move, but rather squatted down, bringing up his omnitool. Dipping his gloved hand in the red liquid, he brought it up to the omnitool scanner. Within seconds, an identity came up. “Tyrit… Slaver… murder… Blood Pack associate… Misdemeanor, stealing, assault, vehicle theft, rape… Damn, you really did it all, you ugly fuckin’ bastard.” Avitus murmured and wiped his hand on the vorcha’s armor. “Guess it comes with being a syndicate boss.”

Avitus stood and paused, hearing a sound. A quickly stifled sob. _Was that a hostage?_ He silently stepped in the shadows, creeping around as his omnitool did a thirty meter sweep of the area. Blips quickly came up, all clustered in three different rooms just north of him in the hallway. Avitus took a few tentative steps and kicked the door down in the first room, greeted by around twelve scared faces. Avitus activated his comms.

“Citadel, this is Rix. I found the hostages. The slaver’s been taken care of. Send ships with medics and a larger crew capacity.”

A pause. “We read you, Rix. Good job. ETA is an hour.” Valern was answering, and Avitus sighed.

“Tell them to stay in contact with me this time, Valern.”

“I’ll let them know. Citadel out.”

Avitus ended the comms, and looked at the mortified faces before him. “Are you all OK?” A few nodded. “Alright, I need you all to go out onto the landing pad.”

A human, no more than twelve by Avitus’ standards, piped up, his voice squeaky and considerably high pitched. “How do we know we can trust you?” A few murmured agreements.

Avitus nodded in understanding. “I’m a Spectre. The Citadel is sending a ship that will arrive in an hour. You’ll be transported to the Citadel, where you will recover. I’m not here to hurt you.” As a gesture, he lowered his weapon, fixed it onto his belt and raised his hands. “I promise.”

That seemed to be enough, because within a minute, the room was cleared. Avitus quickly directed the group of twelve, some sick, all tired, to the landing bay. “And please, stay away from the edges. This place hasn’t seen a repair in centuries.” Avitus quickly moved to the next room, where about eleven figures lay, and ushered them out. They were a lot more welcoming, and Avitus had little trouble with them. The last one out, a young turian, came up to Avitus, shivering. Avitus squatted down.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t let it happen.” Avitus said to the child, which alleviated his shivers somewhat.

“T-that’s not what I was going to say…” The child’s subharmonics were low, uncharacteristic to his age. Avitus knew he had seen some things. Bad things.

“What’s wrong?” Avitus could see the fear in his eyes, the anguish of seeing death and pain.

“His name is Macen… he protected me… he’s in t-the other r-room.” The young turian pointed to a door that had been locked, and Avitus nodded.

“I’ll get him out. I bet he’s fine.” The child didn’t look reassured. Avitus sighed. “Look at me.” The turian turned his orange eyes to Avitus. “I will get him out of there, and he will be fine. Then, I’m going to get all of you food, water, and safety. You’ve been brave, little one. Keep on being brave. For Macen.” The child nodded and shakily followed the group, and Avitus took his shotgun, a Ruzad, from his belt. Never hurt to be prepared.

He waited until he was alone in the hallway, then he kicked down the rusted door. Locks never did much good in a place like this. Avitus took three steps in and froze.

“Spirits…” He wasn’t prepared for the sight before him.

He counted four of the five remaining hostages in the room. The torture room. As Avitus looked on,he saw the walls splattered with blue, red, yellow and orange, raw flesh sticking to the ground and walls, organs trailing from one dead salarian, and a human who was separated from his legs. He could barely look, yet he remained transfixed. It was horrifying.Two more, an asari and another human, were in similar states - disembodied and eviscerated. Avitus sniffed and immediately regretted it. The stench of death, burnt flesh and rotting bodies overpowered his senses and he quickly vomited to the side. _Spirits, this is disgusting_. Avitus looked around, looking for any sign of life. As expected, the dead stares gazed back at him. “Those bastards…” Avitus knelt on one knee and said a quick prayer to the spirits, asking for their souls to be at peace and granting the dead a safe passage into the afterlife. Normally, Avitus wasn’t religious. But this room felt like an exception. A grunt interrupted his prayer, and his head shot up.

Chained to the wall, a few meters in front of him in shadows,was a naked turian with fresh cuts oozing blue blood from all over his skin. His head was bowed down, and he sat on the ground, one of his legs broken, twisting the other way. His plates were cracked in several places, with various instruments riddled around his slightly shivering body. Luckily, his fringe and crest was intact; he had one distinct plate that was black from his otherwise white plate color.  Avitus quickly ran over to him and unchained him, checking his omnitool for the turian’s vitals. His heartrate was slowly increasing, and Avitus applied as much medigel as he could to his body. Afterwards, Avitus brought up the turian’s head. The eyes fluttered open quickly, and Avitus gazed into the gold eyes. The turian opened his mouth, and spoke quietly, his voice raspy and low.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet…” Avitus set him down carefully and made his way to the turian’s broken leg. He set one had underneath the spur and another on his ankle. “Uh, this is gonna hurt.” Avitus looked up and saw the turian shakily grab what looked like a hammer (that might have broken his very leg) and stuck it into his mouth. The turian nodded and bit down hard. Avitus counted out loud. “Alright on three… one…” and he quickly jerked his hands. The turian screamed through the hammer, bending the metal slightly, and his subharmonics shot to a terrifying pitch before coming down after a few seconds. The turian was breathing heavily, panting and letting the hammer drop from his mouth into his hand.

“Shit…” the turian gasped as Avitus grabbed a rod and some rope on the ground, tying up the turian’s shin in a splint.

“I’ll help you out, but you can’t walk on it, alright?” The turian nodded and extended his hand. Avitus took it and hoisted him up, wrapping his arm around the turian’s side. Avitus noticed that the turian was about six or seven inches taller than Avitus. The turian wrapped his arm around Avitus and winced, gasping in pain.

“Sorry… It’s the best I can do right now.” Avitus helped the turian out of the room and into the hall. Avitus was glad he was out of that room, and by the look on the turian’s face, so was he. With another grunt, the two made their way down the hall.

“What’s your name?” Avitus asked as the landing pad grew closer to the duo.

“Macen.” The turian answered weakly. Avitus smiled.

“There’s a little kid who’s gonna be happy to see you, Macen.”

Macen gave a weak smile. “Doran. Spirits, I’m glad he’s OK.” The two resumed their pained silence as they walked outside and onto the landing pad. After fifteen minutes, Macen was asleep, at the care of an asari medic who had found an aide kit on one of the slaver’s henchmen. Avitus stood guard, glancing out over the landscape and the small group every now and then. They were in good cover. That was good.

Static interrupted his thoughts. “Rix, we’re about twenty out. Where’s your location?”

Avitus opened up his tool without a word and pressed a few buttons. A few seconds later, the pilot responded with a “Thanks,” and Avitus was alone again. About five minutes later, the little turian, Doran, came over. Avitus smiled and squatted down.

“Hey there, kid.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” Doran surprised Avitus with a rather strong hug, and Avitus laughed. “Thank you for saving him!”

“I told you I would. I promised.” Doran released Avitus, and Avitus was surprised to see tears in Doran’s eyes. Turians only shed tears in very emotional situations. “Uh, are you OK?”

“Yeah…” Doran didn’t say anything else for a moment. “Thank you… really…” Doran wiped his tears, looking embarrassed. “Uh… here.” Doran reached into his torn clothing and pulled out a small ring on a necklace. Avitus cocked his head. “It was my brother’s… He gave it to me when I was eight. He said… He said that as long as I had this, I could depend on him. And… trust him.”

Avitus knelt down, bringing himself to eye level with Doran. “What happened?”

“He… he sold me for drugs, I think.” Doran sniffed. Avitus didn’t know what to say. Doran offered the necklace again. “I don’t think I need this anymore. I don’t need him anymore. But,” His eyes met Avitus’. They were a bright crimson. “I want you to have it. Because I trust you.”

Avitus kept his gaze with Doran’s for a moment, before taking it. “Thank you… I’m sorry that your brother…”

Doran quickly answered. “I’m not.” Avitus clutched it in his hands.

“I’ll take care of this. Thank you, Doran.” Doran gave Avitus another hug and then left. Avitus watched as Doran sat next to Macen, and watched Macen as he chatted animatedly with Doran. Avitus knew that Macen was extremely hurt. Hell, Avitus didn’t even want to know what Macen went through in that torture chamber. But he put up a good facade for Doran, at least. Avitus looked back at the ring in his hands, rolling it between his fingers. It was a very interesting design. There were three bands, one gold, one silver, and one made of _flamenspe,_ a royal blue metal. The three bands intertwined at various intervals, making for a rather dazzling sight. Judging from what Doran told him, it was probably stolen as a way to get creds, but was probably kept for him. Avitus inspected it for another moment before hooking the necklace around his neck. He could look after it for a little bit.

Avitus looked back up and saw Macen looking right at him, with Doran sitting with a deck of cards that he somehow had procured. Macen gave a small smile and waved. Avitus gave a small wave back. Macen returned his attention to Doran, but Avitus kept looking.

This mission, this long, damn mission, had its fair shares of shitty moments, and Avitus wanted so bad to forget all of it. To forget and move on. But right now, looking at the thirty something people now saved from a horrible fate, and maybe thousands more that could now fight back, seeing drell care for asari, humans sharing rations with quarians, all of them dirty and tired, but hopeful and happy? It made it all worth it. Macen told Doran something, and the young turian laughed, making Avitus smile.

Being a Spectre was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think and how I could do better!


	2. Year 2, Month 2, (2820)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Avitus wakes up, 643 years later, and misses Macen a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!  
> Even though I've had a draft of this chapter sitting for months, I've been so busy with college and work and a general unmotivational streak that's still going!  
> Also, I might edit chapter 1 a little bit? I re-read it and I'm not quite sure if I want to keep it.  
> Anyways, I'll stop talking now!

Cold. Dead. Unmoving. That’s what he saw in the when he opened his eyes again, staring at the ceiling. It was also how he felt. For the last eight months. And everytime he closed his eyes, he wanted to feel Macen, to touch him, to have his scent fill his nose, to even just talk to him, to be around him.

Or even to just look at him. Just one more time.

But everytime, he woke up. And each time, everything was still the same. The same clusterfuck that befell the Initiative in Heleus.

He didn’t expect things to be different. He wanted to be able to will himself to get up, to take care of himself, to stop loathing himself. And for his heart to stop aching. But he had long accepted the fact that things weren’t going to change. But he still held on to a sliver of hope. That something, anything, would change.

But it had been eight months. Surely, something would have happened by now.

Avitus closed his eyes again for a moment, silently willing himself to fall asleep again. His dream hadn’t been the most satisfactory, and it surely wasn’t his favorite memory, but Macen was there. That made it better. He opened his eyes again after a moment, losing the silent battle of sleep. After all, Avitus had been awake and laying in his bed for the past forty minutes. Just laying there, shifting slightly or trying to fall back to the comfort of sleep. It also didn’t help that he had a massive hangover from the night before.

He realized his idea of going back to sleep wasn’t working after twenty minutes, so he resigned to counting as many inconsistencies in the ceiling as he could, which helped to keep his mind sharp. It was an old Spectre exercise. After another twenty minutes, when that didn’t work, he reverted to his first method. As he tried to fall back asleep, he quickly realized that he was in the bed, instead of the sofa he had passed out on just a few hours before.

Avitus sighed, his mandibles flicking out as he continued to stare at the tasteless and stainless steel ceiling above him. Once again, nothing had changed, yet his eyes were still drawn to it. Was it the fact that, no matter what had happened in the last two years, this steel plating remained the same? That nothing really mattered in this life? That everything worth living for had been-?

His train of thought was interrupted as the Nexus’ rotation, combined with the rays of light from the nearby star, came together in a rather bright beam of light, became concentrated right into his left eye from the damn ceiling. He grimaced and closed his eyes, his head pounding even harder. He shifted his head slightly, letting the light hit his pillow instead. Except, he was now at the edge of his bed. Scowling, he slowly rolled his legs off of the bed.

“You win this time…” he grumbled.

Avitus pulled the rest of his body into a sitting position, listening to his plates and bones cracking and popping. He yawned, loudly, as he stretched out his arms above his head. He sat there for a moment, hunched and shivering slightly in the cold air surrounding him. He looked around for his clothes; he was wearing them last night, when he collapsed on the (very uncomfortable) sofa. He decided that he didn’t care, so he got up from the bed, letting his bare body soak in the chill of the early morning. He stood for a moment, his eyes clenched shut as his addled brain tried to make sense of direction.

The bed was directly opposite the small dining and kitchen area (meant for two), which was divided by the sitting room directly in the middle. The door leading to the Nexus stood to his right, which was opposite of the walk-in closet (complete with armor stands - one stood vacant), a washer and dryer combo, and a large, luxurious bathroom that strongly reminded Avitus of the Presidium. The turian paced to the kitchen, starting himself a cup of coffee while scratching a spot in his carapace. He gazed at the apartment, idly wondering how much Macen wanted to do with it. If only he could have enjoyed it.

He took a sip of his coffee. Avitus could almost hear Macen, commenting on how he would decorate the place. Probably with a black and gold scheme, with just a touch of cerulean. Or, undoubtedly, a color scheme that was infinitely better than anything Avitus could come up with. He always had an eye for that sort of thing.

Avitus looked down into his coffee, his hand shaking slightly. It was unbearable, living without Macen. Every day was painful, and everything that reminded Avitus of Macen made it worse. All he wanted was to hear him just once more, To feel him, one last time. He didn’t just want it; he yearned it. He desired it with all of his heart, or at least what was left of it now. Avitus shook his head and finished the rest of his coffee. He didn’t want to think about him right now. It made his heart ache, and his head hurt more than it already was. Instead, Avitus decided to walk into the sitting room to settle into his more active routine of stretching and meditation. He only did this routine when he had an important task ahead of him. And today, Ryder had made sure of that.

He had no idea what Ryder had planned for him. All Avitus knew was that it involved the Kett and a recent uprising that had been quickly been snuffed, for the most part. Avitus could only guess that this last missions was to finish the job. Avitus could also guess that Ryder was trying to act as quick as he could, due to all the secrecy of the mission. In the small amount of time he had known him, Avitus knew that Ryder was never one to keep secrets. It seemed that Heleus really knew how to fight back, and it had thrown Ryder for a loop. Avitus never criticized his process, however; it always seemed to work out favorably in the end. Well, except for the Nomad incident on Eos a couple of months back, but the Tempest crew had agreed to never speak of that again, including Ryder. That wasn’t important right now.

While he was stretching out his legs and loosening his leg plates, Avitus brought up his omnitool to check the time. Avitus wasn’t sure why the Initiative decided to stick with Citadel standard time. The Initiative sure liked to cling to the past. Maybe that’s why it took two years to get back on its feet.

0624 hours. Avitus sighed. He had been up for one hour and twenty two minutes exactly. It was a bad day to wake up early. But he digressed. His plan for the day was to leave at 0700 hours, meet up with Ryder at 0730, and leave before 0745. Avitus had been idly thinking it through, strategizing what he could and anticipating anything. He wanted to at least get an idea of what he was going to be up against. Except, in this case, anything could happen. It was Heleus, after all.

Avitus finished his stretching and walked over to door separating the bathroom from the rest of the apartment. It opened several feet before he approached it, and he walked into the spacious bathroom and turned on the water to the shower. He really needed one; Avitus was almost positive he looked as bad as he felt.

As the sound of water filled the bathroom, Avitus took a look around. The shower was big enough for several krograns to fit in, and was accompanied with three shower heads on top and three more on the side, for a full body wash. He had turned all of them on. Aside from the shower, a bathtub that could fit a yahg rather snugly took up the opposite corner, and was completed with a bland toilet and a large mirror behind a sink. Avitus was drawn to the mirror, mostly because of how he looked; it wasn’t good.

His markings were fading out (he hadn’t reapplied them in about two weeks), his fringe had grown to a rather gross length (the edges were rugged, chipped, and had bits of dirt and all kinds of gunk between them), his skin had wrinkled and was dried up in several spots, and his eyes had sunken in, giving him a very ghastly appearance. In short, he looked emaciated. Avitus grimaced and looked down at his body, hoping to get some reprieve from his gaunt face. He didn’t get it. His body matched his facial appearance, and he wondered how he didn’t catch it sooner. The toned definition of his body had faded, replaced by a skinny body Avitus didn’t even recognized. He was probably twenty pounds lighter than he was when Ryder found him, and his plates had lost their luster - a side effect of the accidental self-imposed malnutrition. Avitus made a mental note that he should try to get back into things. He should try to get better, and be healthy.

The one question that stopped him: why?

The moment he woke up in that cryo pod on Havarl, everything the Initiative stood for had gone down the drain. The moment that SAM popped into his head, he knew that things were going to be different, and for the worse.. When he and Ryder finally found the Natanus, Avitus knew things would never get better. And he was right, for the most part. Apart from Ryder somehow getting things back on track in a matter of months, nothing made Avitus happy again. He couldn’t continue his way of living - Macen had been such an important part of his life, Avitus couldn’t see how he could continue.

Six months after Ryder killed the Archon, six months after Meridian became the symbol of the Initiative, six months after everything seemed to be finally looking up, yet Avitus was drowning his pain in pointless missions, material gathering and alcohol. The alcohol worked the best.

He rubbed his head and stepped away from his tormented reflection. He grabbed a dextro aspirin and some headache medicine that Kandros had suggested, and he swallowed them quickly. He reached into the shower to test the water, and proceeded to step in, exhaling slowly as the warm water washed over his plates and skin. After about five minutes of scrubbing, rinsing, and scrubbing again (his plates were a lot worse than he thought), Avitus closed his eyes and let the water run over him. It felt really good, having the warm water surround him on all sides. His mind started to wander, which was a dangerous thing, really. His old life in the Milky Way came to him first, before his life as a Spectre flashed by, and then Macen showed up. He didn’t push the memories away. This time, he let himself slip into them.

_Macen had always loved the shower. Avitus loved it for a different reason; Macen was very intimate in the shower. In their apartment after Avitus retired (which Macen followed suit less than two months later), Macen spent a long time trying to find what he called the ‘perfect shower.’ After several months of shower head hunting, which was as ridiculous as it sounded, he finally got the right one. Avitus remembered the glee and joy that came on Macen’s face, after he had successfully installed it. His demeanour had changed from that of glee to a sly one. A fully clothed Macen had grabbed Avitus’ hand and pulled him into the shower, despite the also fully clothed Avitus’ protests, and Macen started to nip at Avitus._

Avitus could feel his groin plates shifting already, staring into Macen’s eyes while his own stayed shut.

_Macen wasted no time in undressing, helping Avitus to do the same. Avitus was getting excited - his plates were already spreading, which Macen took advantage of. Rubbing his fingers delicately over the slit, Macen pulled in Avitus for a sloppy kiss, which Avitus had always liked._

Within a couple of minutes, Avitus’ cock was in his hands, and he started stroking, his eyes still closed. He could almost feel Macen biting at his neck, slowly grinding his cock with Avitus’, and Avitus could feel himself coming close.

_Avitus moaned out, which only spurred Macen on._

_“I love you, Avitus. Don’t ever forget that._

“Oh… Macen…” Avitus moaned, right on the edge.

_“Avitus…” Macen didn’t really moan. It sounded like he was just saying his name. “Avitus…”_

“AVITUS.”

Avitus’ eyes shot wide open and he jumped, slipping and falling against one of the glass walls in the shower.

“Shit!” Avitus swore as he grabbed on to one of the handholds in the shower, which kept him from falling flat on the floor. He pulled himself up quickly and breathed in and out, his heart racing, and cursing everything he could. After a moment, he gained his senses and realized that SAM was still talking to him.

“SAM! Why… the fuck!” SAM finally paused, and Avitus continued, still gasping. “You scared the fucking piss out of me! Holy shit…” He took in a few breaths.

“I’m sorry, pathfinder. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Avitus grunted as he exhaled deeply and stepped out of the shower.

“S’okay… just, start over.” Avitus tried to calm his heart, which was still beating faster than normal. “What was so important?” Avitus asked, grabbing a towel.

“It’s Pathfinder Ryder. He’s asking for you.”

“Wait, what? What time is it, SAM?” Avitus glanced at his omnitool. It read 0701. Avitus was running behind schedule. “OK, what does he want?” Avitus dried himself off as he waited for SAM’s reply.

“He wants to know what’s taking so long.”

In the past eight months, he had never known Ryder to be on time. This was highly unusual. “Shit. SAM, just tell him I’m getting out of the shower, I’ll be out in 5 minutes.” Avitus continued to dry himself off, accidentally tearing a hole in his towel. “Dammit.”  
He walked quickly to his room and grabbed his undersuit.

“Ryder is insisting on coming in.”

“Then keep the door locked until I’m ready!” Avitus snapped.

SAM didn’t respond immediately.“Sorry, pathfinder.” Avitus continued struggling, wriggling his way into his undersuit.

“Also, SAM, can you remind me to get this thing washed and cleaned?” He took another whiff and almost gagged. “Or burned? Or, actually, spaced?”

“Of course.” Avitus’ half smile faded, and he sighed, working tight fabric against his skin. _Great. SAM’s mad at me, now._

“You can let Ryder in, now. Thank you.” Avitus zipped up the back zipper all the way up (he was rather flexible), and ran to the bathroom to spray a freshener on himself. He didn’t want Ryder to smell him, or anyone, for that matter.

The door unlocked, and Avitus walked out of the bathroom. Ryder strode in a few feet before immediately stopping. “Uh… hey, Avitus.” Ryder blushed slightly and averted his gaze.

“Hey, Ryder.” Avitus sat on his bed and began pulling on his armor. “Sorry, I got out of the shower late.”

“Are you sure you didn’t sleep in?” Ryder was leaning against a wall now. “I do that _so_ much lately, it’s not even funny.” He said, yawning.

“Not hardly. I just… took a long shower is all.” His armor was a lot easier to put on than that damn undersuit. He already had his boots and greaves on. “Uh, sorry for cutting it close, too.” Avitus lied. He really didn’t want to go on this mission. Or, do anything, for that matter.

“Ah… yeah, well, don’t worry about it.” Ryder answered slowly, waving an arm. Ryder must have thought he was being sneaky. He wasn’t.

“Wait… Ryder, do we actually have a mission today?” Avitus glanced at Ryder, who looked like he would rather be somewhere else.

“We do! I’m not lying about that. We just… well… we don’t actually have to leave for another hour…” Ryder said slowly, giving a sheepish smile. Avitus sighed.

“Why are you here, Ryder? And why did you have me get up so early?” Avitus wasn’t going to mention that he had been awake for several hours already. He straightened up, placing his armor on his bed. He turned himself towards Ryder, slowly. “Please, don’t lie to me.”

“It’s a good reason, I swear!” Ryder said quickly, holding up his hands slightly. “I’m nervous about this mission, cause there’s a lot riding on it, and I wanted to discuss a few things with you first. You are the resident Spectre here, after all.”

“Ex-Spectre.” Avitus stopped. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“Yes. I’m positive.”

Avitus didn’t buy it. “I said not to lie to me, Ryder.”

Ryder hesitated. “Fine… I… I wanted to see how you are doing…” Ryder finished slowly, watching Avitus with a tentative gaze.

Avitus sighed. “I’ve told you alrea-”

Ryder interrupted. “I know, I know. You don’t want to talk, and I know how hard it is to talk this kind of stuff. I get it.” Ryder hesitated. “It’s just… Raeka wanted me to talk to you. To… remind you of your duties. As a pathfinder. And…” Ryder hesitated again.

“And?” Avitus tried to spur Ryder on.

“And… Macen might be involved.”

Avitus didn’t say anything. Ryder didn’t add anything either. The two sat in silence for a moment. Avitus just sat there and thought for a moment.

 _Great, Raeka’s worried about me now._ Raeka had been friends with Avitus and Macen long before Andromeda. As a result, Avitus took Raeka’s opinions very seriously. _But to remind me of my ‘duties?’ What’s this really about?_ Avitus shook his head.

“Fine.”Avitus stood up suddenly. “But,” he strode over to Ryder. Even though Avitus was of average height for turians, he still towered over Ryder. He used it to his advantage, but to Ryder’s credit, he didn’t flinch. Too much.

“The next time you want to talk, just say so. Don’t pull shit like this. Please.”

Ryder stared at Avitus for a moment before looking down. “Yeah. Yeah, I will. Sorry.” Ryder moved out of Avitus’ circle. “I just thought that you’d say no.”

 _I probably would._ Avitus returned to the armor on his bed. “Just give me a couple of minutes.” Avitus resumed putting on the rest of his armor. “So, when do we leave, Ryder?” he asked.

Ryder started to pace. “We don’t leave for Kadara until 1100. But, I was thinking we could grab some food or something, and discuss things.”

“What kind of things?” Avitus pulled on his gloves, flexing his fingers to get them to fit.

“I have maps of the base we’re going to be raiding, information on all of these guys, everything I could learn about this base.” Ryder pulled up his omnitool, quickly scanning it before putting it back. “I thought we could go over all of that, and I could gain some professional insight.”

Avitus picked up his helmet and turned to the pacing Ryder, who stopped. “You seem a lot more prepared than I thought you were.”

“I’d hope I am, I spent the last week studying that fucking base. God, that was the worst..”

Avitus walked by and put a hand on Ryder’s shoulder. “You’re doing great, so far. We can talk on the way there.”

“And… If you wanted to…?” Ryder trailed off, seeing Avitus’ expression.

“Raeka wanted to talk to me, so I’m going to talk with Raeka. Not you.” Avitus spoke bluntly.

Ryder exhaled deeply. “Ouch. I see how it is.” Avitus scoffed and walked through the door. Ryder quickly caught up. “Wait, I know of a really good breakfast place, they make the best breakfast burritos.”

“Breakfast burritos?”

“Yeah, and they do dextro-friendly stuff too! That is, if you’re up to it.”

“Ryder, I’m already walking with you. Let’s go to this ‘burry-toe’ place.” Avitus ignored Ryder’s snort of laughter.

“I’ll lead the way!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter!  
> If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to tell me and I'll do my best to answer and address!  
> *Also, for sake of simplicity, Avitus is going by the standard of human time because the Galactic Standard Time is a bitch to learn*


	3. Blossom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Avitus discovers his feelings for Macen Barro.

In the year 2178, Avitus Rix was given several awards by the Citadel Council and other governments and militaries, including the Hierarchy, Systems Alliance, Citadel Security and the Salarian Special Tasks Group for his efforts in helping to disband one of the larger slave trade, sex trafficking and drug rings in the combined Attican Traverse and Terminus Systems. As it turned out, the vorcha, Tyrit, had quite the empire under his belt. Avitus had been working on that case for the better part of two years before finally finding this break.

The ceremonies had lasted about a week, in which Avitus would be forced to smile for pictures he didn’t care for, accept medals that went straight into a box, and be forced to stand for hours, which made his feet hurt. And that was just the main ceremony. Afterwards, he was forced to talk with snobby politicians, pressured to recount stories to C-Sec officials in the hopes that they could teach their own squads, and, perhaps worst of all, be around people for more than one hour. The week was a living hell for Avitus, who liked to spend his quiet time alone with his hobbies, researching, or, rather rarely, with his close friends, Jondum Bau, Saren Arterius and Nihlus Kryik, among others.

After the third ceremony that week, in which an elcor representative both attempted to sell him licenses and to get involved in a less-than-professional encounter, Avitus had excused himself to the bathroom and subsequently exited out of the window, walking wherever his feet would take him.

He didn’t worry too much about being alone. He could definitely take care of himself, and the presidium was notorious for its lack of heavy crime. He let his mind wander, which took turns cursing politicians, developing strategies for any possible encounters that would befall him, and many other thoughts.

The mission had been a long and hard one, but it was over. Along with the thirty or so he had rescued in the derelict warehouse, he had received word of almost two thousand others across the galaxy freeing themselves. He was being heralded as a hero, receiving gifts beyond measure and some going so far as to push for a seat in the Council in his behalf.

He didn’t care about that fact that people thought he was a hero. That was the job of a Spectre: do the dirty work, for the good of the galaxy. Every Spectre would have done the same, no matter what. He appreciated all the support nevertheless.

As for the gifts… The first thing Avitus did when he received an anonymous donation for several hundred thousand credits was to give it to every person that had escaped the horrors of that damn trading ring. He gave Doran a little extra and made sure he would have a comfortable life on the Citadel, and a safe one. Each subsequent gift afterwards, he kept a small portion but gave the rest away. Another thing that many didn’t seem to realize: Spectres looted on missions. In his own first year alone, Avitus found almost 15 million in loose credits, weapons and armor that could be sold, and in really random places. So Avitus gave most of the extra away to those who needed it more, all anonymously.

And that Council run that three separate people had tried to rope him in for? He blatantly told them to fuck off.

Avitus stumbled but caught himself on a nearby tree. He looked up after thirty minutes of walking to see he had passed Huerta Memorial Hospital, which is where renowned Blackwatch engineer Macen Barro was being treated for his wounds. Avitus stood there for as a few civilians walked by, some doing double takes and gawking. Avitus debated whether to go inside, but quickly made up his mind.

The inside of Huerta was cold, bright, but very scenic. The side walls were all glass, which gave a gorgeous view of the presidium to all of the patients, both 10 floors above in the premier rooms or the 20 stories of regular rooms below. Avitus checked in, and took one of the elevators on the sides to the 26th floor, where Macen was located.

The hallway was decently lit and well organized, with little foot traffic. It was easy to find Macen’s room number, 26-14. The door was wide opened, and Avitus saw Macen sitting up, eating food as he chatted it up with the drell doctor in the room. Avitus decided to stay at the doorway for a moment, where he quickly evaluated the room. He found three possible exits, seventeen different weapons, a potential cover spot, and two spots where he could lay in the shadows. Avitus wasn’t expecting an attack; he didn’t like going into a room he didn’t already know, though.

Macen spotted him and smiled, waving. “Avitus! I was wondering if you would show up!”

He certainly seemed cheery. Macen calmly walked in, as Macen excitedly told the doctor a quick recap of how he and Avitus met. Avitus didn’t see this before, but it looked like the drell very much wanted to be somewhere else.

“Listen, Captain Barro, as much as I hate to leave you,” (Avitus hid a smile), “I do have other patients to tend to. If you don’t mind, Mr. Rix?”

“Oh, not at all, Doctor.” The drell nodded and said his goodbyes, leaving rather quickly. Avitus watched him walk out, before taking a seat next to Macen.

“Avitus! It’s good to see you! How are you?” Macen exclaimed happily. Avitus smiled, but watched his eyes. They flicked quickly.

“Hold on a second.” Avitus stood again, closing the door, pulling up blinds and quickly scanning the room for any possible bugs. When he deemed it all clear, Avitus sat back down to see Macen lean back into his pillows, sighing deeply. “You OK, Macen?”

“Yeah, I just… am a little bit nervous is all.” Macen attempted a weak smile, and Avitus had realization dawn on him.

“How are your injuries?”

“Well, they’re getting better, but it still hurts a lot. You know, the usual.”

“Uh-huh. What about the mental ones?”

Macen gave a half-smile. “That’s the first time I’ve heard someone call them that. ‘Mental injuries.’” Macen’s smile faltered. “It’s… been kinda tough.”

Avitus nodded. “I’ve been there. Talk when it’s the best for you, even if you don’t really want to.” Macen nodded, looking away. Avitus debated asking another question.

“How… long were you there for?” Avitus cringed. _Too soon for that, Rix._

“I dunno… A week before those other’s came. Then a couple of days in… there.” Macen fiddled with something in his fingers. A necklace, maybe?

“I won’t ask you anything else. Just make sure you see someone as soon as you can, you know? Someone that can help you.” Macen nodded, still looking away. Avitus stayed quiet for a moment, nothing else coming to mind. Macen had something, though.

“Have you heard from Doran lately? The little turian?”

“Yeah.” Avitus debated on telling Macen about his endeavours to Doran’s future. “He’s, uh, he’s doing good.”

“Uh huh. How much did you give him?” Macen smiled as Avitus sighed.

“You’re perceptive. And to answer your question, I gave him about 50 thousand, and a good place in the Presidium.” Macen’s jaw dropped, and it was Avitus’ turn to laugh.

“50 thousand?” Avitus nodded. Macen recomposed himself. “Wow… I should have figured that Spectres get that much, but still…” Macen’s expression changed again. “And Doran’s safe, you said?”

“Yep. I have a friend who’s really good at hiding taking care of him with her husband. They said they’ll find him a good home, but I do think that she’ll keep him.”

“Is she a spectre also?”

“Yep, and that’s all I can tell you. Also, I made sure to tell Doran about you. I expect him to be visiting you sometime soon.” Macen smiled for a second, leaning back against his pillow.

“I’m glad. I’m glad he’s alright…”

Avitus didn’t say anything, and neither did Macen. Macen resigned himself to stare out the window, and Avitus toyed with a few possible contracts and missions heading his way. The two simply sat there, for about fifteen minutes, the silence never becoming uncomfortable.

Avitus finally stood up. “Well, I should get going. It was good seeing you, Macen.” Macen didn’t say anything. He turned to leave, and was at the door.

“Wait.”

Avitus turned to look at Macen, who was looking back at him. “Yeah?”

“Umm… will you come back? I don’t know if these doctors like me too much.” Macen gave a half-hearted chuckle, and Avitus could see his eyes were glossier than normal. He had been tearing up.

“Of course. You doing anything tomorrow?”

Macen smiled, wiping his eyes with a knuckle. “Tomorrow’s tight for me, but I think I can make some room.”

Avitus chuckled. “I’ll see you then, Macen.”

As Avitus stood in the elevator, looking at the presidium, his mind wandered to Macen.

_Has anyone else seen him yet? Does he have any family here? Anyone special?_ Avitus flicked his mandibles, a troubled expression on his face. _He must really need some company._ _I can ask him about that later._ He checked his omnitool, denying all of the offers and clearing his schedule for tomorrow.

Just in case.

 

* * *

 

 

Three weeks had passed, and Avitus had visited Macen every day since the first day. As it turned out, Macen’s family was rather scattered in the Hierarchy - his father was killed in action several years back, his mother was a high-ranking official, and his one sibling, his sister, was part of a Cabalim unit somewhere in the Terminus Systems. Basically, no one could see him at the moment. He also wasn’t seeing anyone. Why that stuck in Avitus’ mind, he didn’t know.

He also learned that Macen’s favorite color was orange, he liked to listen to techno-rock and heavy electronic, his favorite food is a simple palaveni bird, Apid, with several vegetables and topped with sauce that quarian’s had made (“It’s, like, super hot, but it tastes so good!”), he had a secret obsession with Blasto the Spectre, and that he didn’t like Fleet and Flotilla. Macen was also super optimistic about a lot of things, he was very outgoing and social, he once out-drank a krogan on a dare, and he wasn’t afraid to talk about sex. Especially in front of Doran

“Whoa, Macen, I don’t need to know that.” Avitus had held up his arms on his sixth visit, and Macen laughed.

“What? I’m just saying what he wanted me to do. That salarian could bend farther than-” Avitus, at that point, just covered his ear plates and put his head on the bed, laughing. Doran looked confused for a second.

“Wait, I have a question.” Avitus quickly sprang up.

“Yes, anything to get away from this conversation right now. What is it?”

Doran hesitated. “I thought salarians didn’t have… wangs. My brother told me they had cloacas! Whatever those are…” Doran trailed off as Macen started laughing harder and Avitus, his neck turning a deep blue, put his head back on the mattress.

“How old are you, again?” Avitus asked, his voice muffled.

“I’ll be fourteen in a couple of months. Why?” Doran seemed utterly confused at the events happening before him. That night had ended in a very interesting and rather entertaining sex talk, and when Doran had to leave, Avitus and Macen laughed about it for another hour.

Their visits were never one-way conversations, however. Avitus decided to open up to Macen, telling him how much he liked sunsets on other planets, the most aggravating turian he had ever met, his favorite color (the purple that some asari skin is like), and the mutual dislike of Fleet and Flotilla.

Avitus and Macen had quickly become friends, which was, perhaps, more solidified after their seventh visit. Macen had decided to talk about some of his experience to Avitus and a therapist, and Avitus helped him through it. Within a week, or the twelfth visit, Macen had a definite improvement in his mood, and he was much happier, which, in turn, made Avitus happier.

Something that Avitus hadn’t anticipated, however, was the fact that he realized he was becoming attracted to Macen. On the sixteenth visit, when Macen was laughing, Avitus just stared at Macen, and he saw things he didn’t see before. The kind eyes, crinkled up in a smile. His plates, always gleaming at just the right light, and even the positive and caring attitude that Macen bore. Well, those things, and everything else.

Avitus decided to keep his crush a secret. After all, he didn’t want Macen to think any differently of him. So, he decided to silently debate with himself if he should try to pursue a relationship, or to keep his friendship platonic.

That question was answered for him three days later.

This day was special, because Macen no longer needed bedrest, his injuries were mostly healed up, save for a few cuts and bruises, and his therapist saw a lot of progress. Now, after Avitus had snuck food inside, the two ate and talked for hours. Avitus finally checked the time. It was 2304 already?

“As much as I would love to talk to you through the rest of the night, Macen, I need to get going.” Avitus made to stand but stumbled, quickly reaching and putting his hand on Macen’s chair.

Then, Macen placed his own hand on top of Avitus’. “Whoa, you OK?”

Avitus laughed and straightened up. “Yeah, I’m good.” Then he realized Macen’s hand was still on his. Macen squeezed his hand.

“Take care, alright?”

Avitus tried to speak, but he couldn’t, so he only nodded, but he felt his face burning up, his subvocals were getting to be way too loud, and he felt really hot, even when he left, and then the elevator was taking too long, and Macen had just held his hand, and the taxi couldn’t get here fast enough, and Macen had asked if he was OK, and Avitus stumbled to unlock his apartment, and _Macen had looked at him like that._

Avitus collapsed into bed, and two hours later, he was still staring at the ceiling, his mind and heart going a million miles an hour, his stomach was fluttering, and he kept thinking of that moment. No matter how hard he thought, how much he debated with himself, one question kept springing to his mind.

_Does Macen like me?_

Avitus felt like he was back in boot camp, because this felt like such a stupid thing to worry about, and he should just drop it and go to sleep, but he couldn’t stop thinking about him, squeezing his hand gently, telling him to ‘take care,’ and looking at him with those eyes… those brilliant, orange eyes, contrasting with the tan plates and red markings, his face changing to one of concern…

Avitus could look at Macen for hours, and simply be content, and happy…

 

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he remembered was a call from one of the councilors at 1342, wondering where he was because he had a meeting with the Council and he was thirty minutes late. Avitus quickly got dressed and made his way to the Tower, where the rest of the day would drag on, and his mind was focused on other things.

Until that night, at 2342, when he was back at his apartment, still laying on his bed, omnitool open, with a blank message for Macen open. Avitus wanted to apologize for not showing up today ( _Or leaving a message… urk…_ ), and that he would be there tomorrow.

Oh, and that he liked him too.

The next several hours resulted in Avitus typing up message after message, deleting draft after draft, scoffing and groaning, and pacing around his apartment, just trying to figure out what to say to Macen.

“Why is this so damn difficult?” Avitus grumbled to himself, after the twenty-first draft was deleted. It certainly wasn’t that last one.

At around 0243, Avitus finally composed a message that he felt would work (without giving _too_ much away) and, with that, he silenced his omnitool and went to sleep.

| To: Macen Barro

Hey

Sorry i didnt show up today but i really need to talk to you tomorrow

dont make any plans, k?

Avi

:End Message: |

 

Less than a minute later, his omnitool lit up with a silent message.

 

|System Message:

The message sent at 0243 to:

Macen Barro:

did not send. Try again later. |

 

* * *

 

Avitus stood outside of Macen’s room, which was closed, for some reason. When he woke up that morning, he saw that his message didn’t send, so he resent it, and it failed once more. That could only mean one thing - it had been deactivated. As a result, Avitus quickly got dressed, and now he had been there for about three minutes, hesitating and second-guessing himself, tugging at the collar of his nicest clothes, holding a set of Palaveni flowers, moonnights, because they were Macen’s favorite flower, and generally drawing blanks of what he wanted to say.

Finally, he knocked.

No answer.

So he waited. And knocked again.

No answer.

The door was locked. He tried it again.

“Oh, Mr. Rix!” He turned, an asari nurse greeting him. “How are you?”

“Good, thanks. Do you know if Macen’s alright?”

The nurse’s smile dipped slightly. “Yeah, he got checked out last night. Apparently, he took a psych eval and he was deemed fit for duty again. Why? Has he not contacted you?”

Avitus took a breath. “No.”

“Oh.” The nurse frowned. “Well, he hasn’t left yet. I overheard that they were going to leave sometime tonight, and that he should be at the M13 Bay.”

Avitus perked up.”Are you sure it was M13?” The asari nodded. “Thank you. So much.” He made to walk away, but the nurse stopped him.

“Are those for him?” The nurse smiled again, only this time, it was a coy smile.Avitus nodded. “I hope he loves them!”

“I hope so too. Thanks again, nurse.”

Avitus didn’t stay to hear the nurse’s goodbyes. He had research to do. Before he knew it, he was back in the Spectre offices, and quickly researching all the comings and goings of Docking Bay M13. Which was a lot more than Avitus anticipated.

After an hour of combing through, he found four potentials. All of them were ships owned by the Hierarchy, with Blackwatch passengers, for routine resupply stops. The shipping manifests were more localized, which meant that he couldn’t see who was actually on the ships unless he went down to the docks himself. Which he was going to do.The first one left at 1500. Avitus checked the time.

1449.

“Shit.” Avitus muttered to himself, quickly logging off, grabbing the flowers, and charting a route from his location to the docking bay. His omnitool said it would take fifteen minutes. Avitus knew shortcuts that could cut that down to eight.

 

 

* * *

 

Up until the elevator, that is. Avitus let his head fall back against a wall, closing his eyes as that damn music played quietly through the car. Just his luck that M was the farthest and furthest bay down. He checked his omnitool. 1458. He had been on the elevator for a minute and he guessed that he had a minute more. He leaned back and closed his eyes again, tapping his foot impatiently.

Finally, the elevator touched down, the doors opened, and Avitus sped through to where his first ship was - only to catch it leaving the protective shielding. Avitus slowed to a stop, his breathing slowing down.

“No… please don’t say that was it…” He looked around, and found a terminal. He subtly hacked into it and found a shipping manifest, complete with cargo and passengers. Macen wasn’t on there.

Avitus shut the terminal down and breathed a sigh of relief, sitting down on a bench. He pulled out the list he had acquired from the offices. The next ship docked in at 1530, and left at 1600. After that, the last two docked at 1800 and 1945, also leaving at 1830 and 2015. Avitus closed his tool, set the flowers down (very carefully), and leaned back. It was going to be a long day.

The next half hour proved to be extremely boring, and he found himself playing with his omnitool a lot. 1530 rolled around, Avitus became expectant, but by 1600, he had settled back down. Another ship, another miss. He decided to set an alarm and take a nap. It took him a while to fall asleep, as his mind kept on jumping to worst-case scenarios…

 

* * *

 

 

Avitus slowly opened his eyes and yawned. He rubbed his eyes and stretched out, looking around bleary-eyed. He saw a lot of people. A batarian dockworker arguing with a human merchant, droves of elcor, volus, asari and salarians travelling to and fro, a turian with a weird looking fringe, a krogan who was-

Wait.

Avitus immediately stood, trying to find Macen again. All he saw were turians, picking up boxes and then loading them onto the ship, which had docked early. Or so he thought. He checked his omnitool.

1823.

Avitus frantically began scanning the heads of all the turians. He couldn’t find Macen. He could have sworn he saw him just barely, walking by. But he had lost him again, in the sea of the crowd. Avitus grabbed the flowers and made his way to the terminal, which was unlocked, and checked the manifest.

Macen Barro was definitely here. Rather, he was supposed to be here.

Avitus left and looked around again, growing more agitated by the second. He started checking every turian he could, walking through the crowd quickly, the panic rising in his chest. He quickly turned and ran straight into a turian.

“Whoa! You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m…” Avitus shook his looked up and saw Macen looking down at him, a half-smile on his face.

“Hey, Avi.”

Avitus opened his mouth and closed it again. Then opened it again.

“Hi.”

Macen chuckled, but his face settled down into a frown. “Why are you here?”

Avitus didn’t answer. Not immediately, at least. He took a shaky breath as he collected his thoughts, which were scattered all over the place. He tried to control his breathing, but his heart was hammering away. It felt like the docks were getting louder by the second and he closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on something, _anything,_ to stop the cacophony.

“Avi?”

Macen’s voice broke through it all, so Avitus concentrated on his voice. He took one more breath. _Here we go..._

Avitus opened his eyes and brought the flowers by his side up quickly. “I, uh… I got these. For you.” Macen raised a brow plate and took them gently. Avitus’ heart started to beat faster, and louder, it seemed. Macen raised the flowers to his nose and breathed in, sighing.

“I love moonnights…” he mumbled to himself, before remembering Avitus was still there, he smiled, his light brown neck turning a darker shade. “Heh, thanks.”

Avitus nodded, and he started to ramble. “Yeah, I really like those too. They were a bitch to find, but I knew you liked them, and I wanted to find you before you left so I could tell you-” Avitus caught himself. He started to blush at the neck, and Macen cocked his head.

“Tell me what?”

Avitus was feeling hot all over, and his plates were shifting in the most uncomfortable way. “Uh…” Avitus didn’t know how to tell Macen, and the panic was starting to settle in. He looked into Macen’s eyes, his perfect, golden eyes. He could see something in them. Was it…?

On impulse, Avitus took Macen’s free hand in his own and held it, tightly. Avitus looked away, nervous, as Macen looked down at their hands. Avitus was now positive that Macen could hear his heart beating right out of his chest.

“Thank the spirits…” Macen muttered, and Avi turned back to Macen. “I thought I did something wrong when you didn’t visit me!” Macen looked absolutely delighted, his eyes twinkling and his mandibles flaring.

“I’m sorry… I was busy and I really wanted to visit and I wanted to tell you sooner and I just-” Avitus rambled on before Macen embraced Avitus in a hug, clinging to him tightly. Avitus stopped immediately and returned the hug, closing his eyes. Avitus just focused on how Macen felt against him; he was warm, and despite his height, he fit right into Avitus. It felt really, _really_ good.

Macen pulled out of the hug for a moment and looked Avitus in the eyes again, and Avitus saw something new there. Something he saw two nights ago. Macen leaned in slowly and gently touched his crest to Avitus’, whose breath caught. Macen closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, his hands on Avitus’ lower back and pulling him in. Avitus inhaled and caught Macen’s scent, his beautiful, intoxicating scent that smelt of the plants in front of his apartment and a more metallic musk that came with most turians. The two stayed like that for several minutes, neither talking but both understanding the connection between the two.

It felt like an eternity to Avitus, just staying wrapped up in Macen’s arms, but when Macen broke the hug, he found himself wanting more, wanting to curl up against Macen, to just be with him more.

“Avi… I have to tell you something, too.” Macen looked towards the ship, and Avitus looked at Macen. “I’m going on a mission. I’ll be deep undercover, too. I won’t be able to talk to anyone outside of my mission, and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone…” Macen looked back, his eyes glistening. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

Avitus felt his heart, which had slowed down a little bit, seemingly stop. No, this wasn’t fair, he had just found Macen! He had just realized what Macen meant to him…

“Oh.” Avitus didn’t speak for a moment, and neither did Macen. Macen looked down at the flowers, still clutched in his hands. Avitus looked at Macen, taking in his body language, his stance, his body, his beautiful, sexy body, and Avitus decided he wasn’t going to let go of Macen that easily.

“Well… I’ll wait for you.” Macen perked up. “No matter how long it takes, Macen. I’ll wait.”

Macen seemed speechless. “You will?” Avitus nodded, and Macen grinned, the joy he felt infecting Avitus as well. Macen wrapped up Avitus in a hug and lifted him off the ground, while Avitus laughed. Macen set him down again, his hands on Avitus’ shoulders, still smiling.

“It’ll be some time, you know.”

“I can wait.”

“What happens if I can’t get back to the Citadel?”

“Well, I’ll find you, wherever you are. I’m a Spectre, remember?”

Macen chuckled. “Alright, whatever you say. One more thing, though…” Macen’s expression went serious for a second. “What if I need you, for any particular reason, but I can’t get to you?”

Avitus gently stroked Macen’s left mandible. “Then I’ll reach out to you and help you. I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

Macen smiled. “If I can convince the Blackwatch to let you in.”

“Hey, Macen! We leave in 3!” A turian called from the ship, and Macen glanced over and nodded.

“I have to go now, Avi.” Avitus nodded, and Macen hugged him again. “Thank you, for everything. You helped me far more than you know.”

Avitus nodded. Now he was tearing up. Macen broke the hug for the last time, and left, waving to Avitus. Avitus watched him climb up to the ramp before calling out to him.

“Macen!”

Macen turned around.

“I love you!” Avitus decided not to think about what he was saying until after Macen left. He couldn’t stop the mental punching of himself, though.

“I love you too, Avi!” Macen called back, and Avitus’ heart skipped a beat. Macen climbed into the ship and disappeared from sight. Avitus stayed where he was as the ship finally lifted off, and left the docking bay. He kept his eyes trained on that specific ship until he couldn’t see it anymore, losing it to the infinite vastness of space. Then he stayed there a little longer, waiting until the mostly artificial light of the Citadel turned towards the night cycle, and only then did he start walking back to his apartment.

He couldn’t keep his mind off of Macen, of how much he wanted to with him in those few minutes that he had with him. Of how he felt, and how he acted, and how stupid he was for not answering Macen’s message or even just admitting his feelings for him. But it was all in the past now. Avitus looked to the sky, the wards of the Citadel contrasting against the vibrant Serpent Nebula.

Avitus knew something that day, as he walked past people and places, blurring together. He knew that he would find Macen again. He knew that he would continue to love him. He knew that, despite everything, Macen would still reach out for him, and Avitus would gladly take his hand.

Avitus Rix loved Macen Barro, and he knew that for a fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God DAMN I'm really bad at updating this. I hope I can find time to write over Thanksgiving, but with work and school starting to pick up the pace, I don't know how much I'll be able to write ;_;  
> Anyways, thanks for reading, let me know what you think, and I'll try to update this again in the next couple of weeks!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, leave a Kudos or a comment!


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